who was pat maravel? - rosie writes
MARAVEL
ms maravel – a twenty something beautiful
almost hippie math teacher
who was engaged to mr pic -
the band teacher I loved instantly
she - ms maravel
caught me in the hall
without a pass
the third day of seventh grade
“open your locker – take out all the books”
I did – speechless
with arms full she slammed the locker door closed
“next time – detention, now go”
and I did
our first meeting
without even a hello
pat maravel died last week
nearly three decades after our rocky start
we buried her today
I sat today in the front row
where she placed me from the start
inside her family
a part of, my very own
I was born twice –
once in 1962
to a woman who left so quickly,
I never got to know her
I carry her name
and from the few photos I have
her face as well
i was born again
in 1975 to pat maravel
a woman who refused to let go
she forced life back into my soul –
she stood solid and strong –
she showed up –
she stayed
i never got to ask her why she did it
rescued this lost puppy of a girl
motherless and starving
nothing special in any way
what did she see in me?
i tested her for years
not able to trust - still so broken
but I couldn’t shake her
no matter how I tried
and i did
i was her most difficult child
she always says –
said
past tense
it hurts to breathe
will I ever stop refrencing my mother
i feel like Liza - with a z
here we go again
this old chestnut
when my mom was sick
I thought if Barbras mom was sick
she would go on Johnny Carson
and ask people to send a dollar and then would
and she would buy medicine
and her mom would live
i believed that true
it’s not
I have the money now
and my second mom was not saved
there is no magic medicine
“do you think I am dying?”
she asked me in december
“yes” I anwsered
“me too” she said
then after a moment,
“ro, this is going to be very hard for you”
i laughed as i cried, telling her
“i could not love you more – I will look after the two you pushed out.”
she put on her glasses to get one last look
held my face in her hands
and said “now go”
i did
god has a sense of humor
she gave me two mothers
both died of breast cancer
both times I am devastated beyond words
pat maravel taught me about mothering - freedom and family
about tolerance - activism and compassion
she showed me how to live - how to love - how to give back
she had strong opinions with an open mind
and a will to live that defied doctors rules
i watched myself on 20/20
talking about parenting
i realized just today
i sounded like pat
the way I speak to my children
is the way she spoke to me
when she was dying –
almost too ill to talk
i brought an 8x10 of the kids
for her to see
she smiled with the parts of her face
that still worked
i put it on top of the dresser
in plain view – near the window
after an hour of only one word replys
i got up to go
she stared at me hard
wanting to say something
i could tell
she nodded toward the picture
“the photo teach?”
yes she nodded
i took it down and brought it to her
all emotional and dramatic
“did you want to see the kids pat?”
she rolled her eyes at me and said
no - window
then laughed
my picture was blocking her view
of the birds and trees
i got it – cracked up
then retold it to Joy, Dolores and Jessie
in front of her
she laughed every time
her closing joke
i miss her a lot
now especially
when I feel so much like myself
again
Barbara Walters asked me if my mom
would be proud of me
she was –
her name was pat maravel
she told me so
